Let Your Inner Child Lead You To Conscious Living

The phone rings. It is a client enrolled in my 90-day program, calling to do her weekly session. I greet her and inquire how her week has gone?

With slight agitation she replies, “Not well!” I have had this edge all week. I can’t relax. Feeling serene is a joke. I feel this rebellion inside – some part of me is kicking and screaming.”

“Have you asked her what she is angry about?”

“She isn’t talking to me! She doesn’t want to have anything to do with me or this program. She doesn’t see the benefit of it! “

In typical fashion I encourage her to tune into this part of herself and listen to what she has to say.

She pauses, takes a deep breath and begins to speak from this voice within her with the sarcasm only a teenager can exhibit. “I don’t like this program. So what is this – you get healthy and spiritual and then sit around all day and do what – talk to God! That sounds like a blast! Where’s the fun in that? I’m bored. I want to have some fun! I want to go have a piece of chocolate cake!” I am sick and tired of exercising and eating all of these stupid vegetables! Where’s the sugar! Where’s the Wheat?” Where’s the beef?”

Many relate to this voice. There is something exhilarating about pushing that edge and then laughing about the ridiculousness of it! Fun and relaxation become associated with doing something “bad!” But when do these activities become destructive?

The answer is simple. We act in excessive and destructive ways when we are out of balance and our child within seeks to restore the equilibrium through the relaxation of play. The challenge is to heed the signs of their distress call and invite our child within to play in a way which nourishes our entire being?

So how can we accomplish this feat? First of all, it is useful to expand the concept of the inner child to one which acknowledges we have more than one child within. The kind of fun and relaxation your inner teen wants to have and the definition of being relaxed as seen through the eyes of your younger selves is quite different.

We all have that divine, innocent and carefree part of us who experiences joy by simply being allowed to stand in a state of awe. This inner child is forever caught in that state of wonder which can only come from a total abandonment of worrying about the past or incessantly planning for the future. He or she finds fun in action… in running, jumping, exploring! The infant self may find pleasure in the simple art of exploration. The toddler within revels in the glory of a newly mastered physical feat, whereas your inner three-to-six year old experiences delight when given the freedom to follow the threads of curiosity and unearth anything new and previously undiscovered.

Your six-to-twelve-year old, on the other hand, will feel nourished when play and relaxation involves others. They yearn for social activity. They may feel exhilarated when playing on a soft ball team, a bowling league or engaging in some group project. This inner teen engages in social activities as well, but often within the context of self-definition. Their fun involves any activity which allows them to pursue their individuality – be it sports, shopping at the mall or participating in a book club. All of the above are signs of having integrated your inner child and play into your life in a vital and viable manner. They sustain balance and support integration.

The disgruntled inner child grabs center stage to show us when we are out of balance. If you find yourself wanting to rebel and go out and have fun in a way which will have consequences which you do not want to incur I suggest you pause for a moment. Take a deep breath and examine what parts of your life are out of balance. Tune within and engage your inner child in conversation. Irrespective of the age – invite him or her to speak its truth. This simple dialogue will give your adult self the information needed to come back into alignment.

Your inner child does not begrudge your having to work; your pursuit towards health or even your spiritual path. He or she simply wants to be invited into your life. Get out of your head and take time to notice – notice everything around you! This is “conscious living” and when you engage in “conscious living” you involve your inner children in healthy play.